Tale of Zuko and Iroh in Ba Sing Se
by Ronnie James Padova
Summary: Zuko and Iroh must survive the mean streets of Ba sing Se


It was a beautiful day in Ba Sing Se (Unfortunately that was only in the Upper Ring. Too bad for Zuko and his uncle Iroh they lived and begged in the mean streets of the lower city which the locals dubbed the "Asshole of the Earth Nation. It was filled with an assortment of Junkies, Shylocks, Transvestites, Homo's, Dipshits, Cunts, Rapists, Muggers, Carriage thieves, washed up 80's hair metal bands, whores, sluts, bitches, twats and Sean Hannity. Zuko and Iroh lived in a shitty apartment (you know like the ones you see in movies about New York). Zuko meditated everyday about his banishment from the Fire Nation while Iroh worked at the fudgepacking factory across the street. Zuko had never seen this "Fudge-Packing factory" but he noticed every night when Iroh came home he had a funny walk and vanilla icing caked around his lips. Zuko went to bed while Iroh got a rubber donut chair and sat in it. Zuko could have sworn him say "Next time don't use Miracle Whip as lube.

The next day Zuko and Iroh begged on the streets.

"Spare a coin" Iroh pleaded holding out his hat.

"Get a shower, motherfucker!" the woman spat as she threw a bronze coin in his hat.

"Thank you" Iroh said.

"C'mon nephew try begging it is quite serene." Iroh said.

"Spare coin" Zuko said begrudgingly to a passing noble who gave him a disdainful look and screamed

"YOU LOOK LIKE MY UNCLES ASS"

Zuko shot his uncle a hateful look seeing as now what was reduced too

Night soon came too pass and Iroh and Zuko had too call it a day. As they were passing through the ally a long mane sporting man in a trench coat stopped them in their path playfully throwing a sack of gold between his two hands.

"Hey" the stranger said "Want some gold"

"Certainly kind stranger" Iroh said happily "I'll even sing!" Zuko slapped his forehead.

Suddenly the stranger said "Know who I am?" raising an eyebrow.

_Give us the muthafugin money_ Zuko thought in his black man voice.

"No" said Iroh Sheepishly

"JOHN MOTHERFUCKING ROMERO CREATER OF WOLFENSTEIN, DOOM, QUAKE AND THE UPCOMING DAIKATANA ITS GOING TO BE FUCKING AWESOME. SCREW CARMACK AND ID SOFTWARE. DESIGN IS THE GODDAMN LAW." He then unzipped his leather jeans and pulled out a 15 inch cock.

"WANNA MAKE SOME GOLD THEN SUCK IT DOWN"!

Zuko let out a horrified yell, but before he could react Iroh was on all fours sucking the man's cock and within a matter of seconds John Romero let out a cry of ecstasy and exploded in Iroh's mouth. He threw the gold bag at Zuko and then lit a cigarette.

Zuko could hardly believe what he saw only uttering two words "Uncle…..Homo?"

Iroh swallowed the cum and gave Zuko the creamiest man-juice smile and said "Yes"

Chapter 2 (Bitchesssssssssssssss)

After Uncle Iroh's oral escapade he took his shocked nephew to the tea shop for some tea (that's what tea shops are for you pussies!) Iroh sipped his tea whereas his shocked nephew could only watch with a blank stare. Iroh belched and commenced to speaking.

"Really gets the taste of cum out your mouth, oh right you're wondering about."

"YOU BEING A HOMO!" Zuko yelled lost in some unknown vortex after seeing an old man down on all fours sucking dick "But you were married..?Lu Ten?" He said

"Not mine paid a servant from the mailroom to fuck her that time. Let's just say I never consummated the marriage" he said with a wink.

Zuko began twitching nervously "Does…Father….Know…..Homo?"

Iroh nodded "Caught me balls deep in a manservant while a soldier I hired shoved a vodka bottle up my ass while a little boy milked my nipples and Elton John played in the background and two bathhouse boys massaged my nut sack. Ozai flung the door open and called me a flaming faggot but of course I couldn't respond because my mouth was full of black cock so my response to him was cum dripping from my lips. In return for not telling Firelord Azulan I wasn't a limp-wristed ass wrangler I ceded the throne to him. So my father and Ozai shot the shit and Ozai had the crown promised to him.

"YOU WATCHED ME PEE!" Zuko yelled

"Whoa, Whoa, I may be a pillow biter but incest Tsk Tsk nah.

Zuko went to bed that night knowing when his uncle stroked his meat in the next room he was thinking of men.

"EAT MY DINGLE BERRIES!" yelled Iroh in his sleep

Chapter 3: Beyond the Cum filled stage

Zuko awoke the next day to find his Uncle gone, images of Iroh sucking off the game developer still lingered in his mind still unable to come to the destination that his Uncle was a homo. Zuko left the apartment kicking the aborted fetuses off the doorstep as he did. Knowing the Avatar was not in the city he decided to kill some time at the local bar.

"Water." He told the bartender.

"Pussy." The bartender replied spitting in his water, Zuko balked in shock

Zuko sat back and observed the local transients as he sipped his water when a tall man in a skull cap sat beside him.

"Jack and coke" the man replied

The bartender placed the drink at the man's side, the man looked at him

"Cool Scar" he said

"Tell that to my father" Zuko replied

"Got a name?" the man said.

Zuko hesitated and said "Lee."

"Neil Peart" the man replied "Say you look a little down, I know the feeling."

"It's like I'm cast in this unlikely role, ill-equipped to act with insufficient tact."

"Living in the Limelight" Peart said "Living in a fish eye lens caught in the camera eye." He finished his drink

"Remember Zuko Living in the limelight is the universal theme for those who wish to be. All the world's a stage we are merely players, performers and portrayers, each another's audience beyond the gilded cage.

"Are you a poet?" Zuko said

"I'm in a Band called Rush" he said as two men entered the room "This here is Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson."

Suddenly Iroh rushed in the room and pointed at Geddy Lee and said "You didn't pay me for the hand job!"

"You were paid to wax my guitar WITH WAX NOT CUM!" Geddy screamed as Neil and Alex held Iroh down as Geddy smashed his fingers with his bass guitar whilst singing Fly by Night.

Rush left and Iroh needed a doctor.

"I hope the doctor takes rim jobs as payment" Iroh smiled.


End file.
